The space bar.

Hypothetically, let’s assume you’re a lady and you’re alone at home. Its evening and you’re preparing your supper. Now suppose a guy, maybe your neighbour comes knocking at your door and on opening, he just says that he wanted to say hi, but he remains standing at the door…would you ask him to come in? Its only neighborly, right?

Now what is personal space?.. Aah my memory takes me back to the good old high school English classes which I would gladly attend once more if offered, for the teacher was quite the character. But little did I understand this topic up until now… Well personal space is generally a perceived region surrounding an individual which they regard as theirs. Now the reason it is perceived is because there is no definite standard to measure this. It varies from individual to individual based on factors like personality and temperaments, relationship etcetera.. It is like a second skin.

Now without delving much into proxemics, can we just talk about how this space is important!!.. Observe how this perceived region is violated today. You meet a guy today, tomorrow the only way for him to say hi is to hug you! Cohabiting now is the order of the day. It can even come down to just someone holding on your hand for a bit too long!

It is sad to see just how low we have stooped. And the effects are quite evident and distinct. Look at how many deaths are reported of people allegedly killed by their lovers! Could it be that they let them in their space too soon? Listen to how many cases of rape being reported. I’m sure some are the results of trusting people too much to let them into space that should be yours or forced themselves into spaces not theirs.

Something nearly similar to the illustration I gave above happened to me. Now I did not welcome him in and it has made me to question myself a lot especially in line with my Christian walk. Now perhaps he is just friendly…and to be fair he did not force nor ask to come in. I’m I selfish?, Was it rude? I don’t know you tell me.. But my dear reader, presumption is sin. You do not walk right into a hole then pray that the Almighty should defy the laws of gravity to come to your rescue. He doesn’t work that way. Instead He invites us to be reasonable, He says, ” Come let us reason together. “. Where did the rain start beating us?

As I conclude allow me to propose a few recommendations.. Can we learn to speak up when someone is crossing the line? Can we even first draw our personal space line? Can we stop placing ourselves in positions that will force us to compromise our space? Shall we try to respect the spaces of the people around us? I think the bar is too low!

Loving your neighbour as you love yourself will be easier this way. At least for me….