Grow up!

I’m seated in this office, mildly tensed. I’ve already received my first constructive feedback and I’ve not even been here 20 mins. It’s an interesting morning honestly; stood in line for a bus for almost 20 mins, my bag’s sling broke on my way there, then traffic, the anxiety of rejection. You should have seen me mutter a prayer asking for grace before I knocked on the door to this office. In the bus, I questioned my desire to be in the corporate world (sorry dad).

But reader, mark you, I prayed for this. Yet now I’m anxious and doubtful. “Shouldn’t you be grateful?” I know, I know. I should be jumping for joy, I should be quoting Psalm 30:11. But if I’m sincere, that’s not the attitude of my heart.

You see, we pray for blessings,  and what do we expect? A tideless sea, light for the whole staircase, smooth sailings and certainty. But I promise you, the only thing I’m certain of is that I need God now, more than ever.

You should grow up. Hold your head up, and walk in that room like God sent you there! You are the daughter of a King!( Insert other affirmations we tell ourselves).

But what is growing up?

I am not an expert at this. I’m at amateur level, but let me tell youuu..I’m learning and sharing my drop in the ocean of an experience so that you don’t have to walk alone.

The lie of growing up is independence. You can do this alone. The lie of blessings is that they are mutually exclusive with burdens.

Friend, God’s blessings are never to make us independent of Him. I think, God gives us gifts too big for us to carry on our own. We need friends, we need society, we need Him.

I need to finish writing this blog and text a few people and ask them to pray for me. They may have faith that I’ll need to borrow. That’s growing up; at least that’s how it looks like from this little corner of mine.

KJV Psalms 121
1 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2 My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.