If you leave me, I will die!

Has someone ever told you these words? Or better yet, have you ever told someone these exact words? Well maybe not exact.. We will also be told or say ourselves to someone, I can’t live without you. Sometimes we even go a step further and show it. Or have you not heard that someone committed suicide because “waliachwa!”. But perhaps in this case this person should have really said, ” if you leave me, I will kill myself”

But I’m sure you have heard someone died because waliachwa…No? Well, of course not! Either way, people will still say it, lovers will still quote it and some will even show it. But how does it feel? How does it make you feel when someone claims they cannot breathe when you’re not around? That they can’t fall asleep when they think of you? That they cannot taste any other food if its not yours? That they cannot walk if you’re not by there side? Okay, I’m taking this too far… But have you not fallen in love before? You have? Then you must be relating. You haven’t? well be my guest as I unfold this rather absurd, seemingly mythology but actual reality!

The truth is, deep down you feel nice don’t you? To know that someone’s world revolves around you, to know that you’re the one who supplies their flavoured oxygen, that you are the nerve behind the pumping of their heart, the impulse behind every blink of their eye…too much? I think not. For these are the among many vitalities to survival, which apparently you seem to be the giver when someone claims they can’t live without you. Well probably you’ve never thought about it that way. Sounds tedious, right? Where I’m I going with this?

I think I need to shed some sunshine, as I would call it, on this. You see,there are people who love to build on things/relationships, people who will bend over backwards for the sake of love. You will recognize them easily because we tell them, ” you have attachment issues“..this is not the case for everyone, but after giving my all, isn’t it only fair that I hang on regardless?

To be fair, I’m not saying we sit on the fence. I don’t mean that we should be in relationships with one foot out. Rather, give it your best. Give your friends the best of you, your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/ husband etc..give them your all. As long as you’ve well-defined your “space bar”. In a world full of angst and perplexities, show them that there can be bliss and beauty. Someone said love makes the world go round. But of course I need to point out some repercussions…

You realize how temporary life stages are, including life itself. We tend to draw some entitlement to things that we have worked for. I will even adjust to just a society of people and feel that they shouldn’t or I shouldn’t leave merely because I’m used to them and that they should be a constant part of my life experience. No, Its not necessarily because change is scary, but maybe because I don’t want to lose pieces of my heart every time someone has to leave..that, is scary!

But God did not create us to be desperately dependent on each other. And I thank Him for that. Even a new born baby, as helpless as it may be, is not desperately dependent on the mother. We (believers) serve a just God that does not allow us to draw our life from mere mortals. If you’re undergoing a heartbreak, you might feel like that’s the case, and my apologies for how insensitive this may sound. But that’s where reasoning comes in, for feelings are not altogether valid. God is the only life giver and sustainer, and rightly so! Otherwise think of how many would perish because of their source of being is one who can also die or leave.. I think that’s why God is love, the source of love, and so if love makes the world go round, He is the One that makes the world go round.

Cherish and build what you have now as if you will have it forever, you might. But if/when the time is expired and nature takes its course, be ready to let go. And if it hurts bad enough to break you, maybe it wasn’t good for you, I mean, if it hurts that bad, maybe you made it a god, and now that is scary! And no one wants that, right?